Have you ever thought about the effects of pornography on your soul? I was working on a gratitude list this afternoon and realized that now I seldom have sudden outbursts of anger, usually directed against unsuspecting loved ones. Back when I was using porn regularly, these were common occurrences. The anger always seemed to be seething just below the surface and when something or someone set me off, watch out! It was like stumbling on an IED (improvised explosive device). Someone nearby was going to get hurt.
Have you ever been caught? Most of us have. Maybe you’ve been caught doing something you are ashamed of like looking at porn or masturbating—or sexual behaviors with even greater consequences like having an affair or an anonymous encounter. Getting caught in such activities brings serious consequences: a broken marriage, loss of a ministry position, or even arrest. Even our most “minor indiscretions” can damage relationships and cause an almost irreparable loss of trust.
For a long time, I thought exposure was the worst thing that could happen to me and that the key to avoiding consequences was to not get caught. This way of thinking drove me deeper into hiding and forced me to great lengths rationalizing behaviors and justifying deception.