I’ve been thinking a lot about what the next step is for this website and the ministry it represents. As a freelance webmaster (and pastor), I’ve been working on marketing effort for another ministry of which my wife is a part. She is public on that website at the level of first name and general location. I’ve been considering coming out of incognito in order to promote the Sexual Integrity in Ministry website more effectively. I have access to some of the same marketing and promotional tools as the other ministry. That ministry’s efforts include promotional videos which are kind of hard to do anonymously. I’ve also been looking into ad placement in ministry magazines or other ministry websites. Why? It’s certainly not to get rich. This has been and probably always will be a labor of love. The main reason comes directly from the fifth of the 12 traditions: to carry this message to those in ministry who still suffer (adapted). Of course, should I choose to promote this website and ministry publicly, I would break the 12th tradition about anonymity. Continue reading
This website was started and is maintained by a pastor who is also a grateful, recovering sex addict. Though he has been “in recovery” since 2000, he is now walking in solid and continuous sobriety and working to rebuild healthy relationships with his spouse and others who were wounded by his actions while active in his addiction.
While he is currently publishing this site and other resources anonymously, he has no secrets among those who really know him including his wife (full disclosure assisted by a professional counselor), his church leaders (confession, repentance, and ongoing accountability), his sponsors and accountability partners in various recovery groups (Celebrate Recovery, Sexaholics Anonymous, and Sex Addicts Anonymous), and regular sessions with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Specialist) in his area. The circle of those who know this man’s story is ever widening as God’s grace allows him to maintain sobriety and minister to others in that state.
Given the details shared in these pages and in other resources, others may determine the identity of this pastor. At this point in recovery, there is little to fear from greater exposure. He believes God would have him share his story so that other pastors and men who struggle can find the help they need to overcome lust and sexual addiction.
Since the purpose of this site is to provide pastors a safe, secure, confidential place to share struggles and find help, the webmaster will continue to maintain anonymity out of respect for those just beginning their journey to victory over sexual temptation.
Website Privacy and Security Policy
The privacy and anonymity of visitors to the S.A. in Ministry website is of utmost importance. We do not sell, rent, or lend any information to any third party. Any information you give us is held with the utmost care, anonymity and security, and will not be used in ways you have not consented to.
WHAT INFORMATION DO WE COLLECT?
We collect information from you when you voluntarily fill out a form. When subscribing to a newsletter or filling out a form such as a group registration, as appropriate, you may be asked to enter your: name, mailing address, e-mail address or phone number. You may, however, visit our site without giving us any of your information.
Cookies are small files that a site or its service provider transfers to your computer’s hard drive through your Web browser (if you allow) that enables the sites or service provider’s systems to recognize your browser and capture and remember certain non-identifying information. You can still use our website if you do not accept cookies.
If you prefer, you can choose to have your computer warn you each time a cookie is being sent, or you can choose to turn off all cookies via your browser settings. See your browser’s help file for instructions. Like most websites, if you turn your cookies off, some of our services may not function properly.
WHAT DO WE USE YOUR INFORMATION FOR?
The information we collect from you may be used in one of the following ways:
When you fill out a form or request information
Forms collect data that is transferred to the website administrator via an email message. Your information is never used for any other purpose than what is originally indicated.
When you sign up for newsletter emails
The email address you provide for newsletter signup will only be used to send you mailings for the selected newsletter. We never send unsolicited email. If you decide to sign up for a newsletter, you will receive emails that include news and information related only to S.A. in Ministry.
Note: If at any time you would like to unsubscribe from receiving future emails, we include detailed unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of each email.
HOW DO WE PROTECT YOUR INFORMATION?
Any information you provide is kept confidential and viewed only by authorized persons necessary to process your request. No personally identifiable information is posted on this website. Access to offline information is taken seriously and security measures to control it are utilized, such as password-protected servers.
DO WE DISCLOSE ANY INFORMATION TO OUTSIDE PARTIES?
We do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website, managing financial matters, or maintaining our office technology, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. We may also release your information when release is necessary to comply with the law.
THIRD PARTY LINKS
As a service, we link to websites providing resources viewed as helpful in recovery. These sites have separate and independent privacy policies. We therefore have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of these linked sites. Nonetheless, we seek to protect the integrity of our site and welcome any feedback about these sites.
By using our site, you consent to this Privacy and Security Policy.
ACCESSING AND CHANGING YOUR INFORMATION
Information sent to us electronically may be changed by submitting the same form originally used and entering the new information. Those who have a login account on our website may make changes to their account information at any time by logging into the website and going to ‘My Profile’ page.
Let’s face it. We pastors have a lot to lose if the wrong people find out about what some of us do (or have done) in private. Publicly, the church and much of society have placed us on a pedestal. We are “Reverends,” clergy, “men or women of the cloth,” “God’s chosen leaders,” and so on! Yet we are human. We are sinful. Just like anyone else we deal with temptations, day in and day out. Some of us continually succumb to temptations in areas that most people find difficult to talk about: Internet pornography, masturbation, sex outside of marriage, same-sex attraction, and other sexual behaviors inconsistent with the biblical values we commonly preach.
So when we are caught up in sexual sin, where do we turn? Many of us don’t have anyone holding us accountable in these areas. If we tell our denominational leaders or the other leaders in the churches we serve, we will likely lose our jobs. We should be able to trust other pastors in our community, but most of us don’t. We continue to hide, isolate, and bury ourselves in what may very well be or become a sexual addiction.
There’s the recovery community, but can we trust our reputation to those who willingly admit to being sex addicts or “sexaholics” after they find out what we do for a living? As one who has spent over 13 years “in recovery” and almost 10 years involved in recovery ministries and 12-step groups, I can honestly say that the level of honesty and confidentiality in these groups is light-years beyond the average Christian church. Sadly, I’ve heard more soul-barring confessions and seen more grace extended and received in secular support groups than I have found in churches that claim to “preach grace.”
As a pastor, I respect your desire for anonymity, especially if you have not yet achieved victory over your temptations (or “sobriety” as they say in the 12-steps). This site and the phone meetings that we hope to launch soon are designed for you. We are not here to “out” you; we are here to help you. Please trust us to respect your anonymity and maintain confidentiality regarding what you share with us.